Are you surprised Richard reached out to his birth mother? What would you have done in his shoes?

Are you surprised Richard reached out to his birth mother? What would you have done in his shoes?

No I was not surprised. I believe the birth connection stays strong even when adoption is the intervention. My birth son wrote that he wanted to thank me for giving him birth.

It’s funny but I have an adopted son. We have always told him that we would be okay if he wanted to contact his birth mom. We know how to find her. But he has always said he no interest in ever doing that. Although I have talked to him about the circumstances of his adoption he seems to have a slight bit of resentment that she gave him up. We got him at 3 days old and hie is now 37 yrs old. We have a very solid relationship.

I was not surprised because there has been so much publicity about people searching for lost family members or discovering unknown family members through DNA testing. I honestly do not know what I would have done if I were in Richard's shoes because my life was such a protected family environment, and I don't think it is possible to pretend I know how an adopted person might or might not feel.

I’ve known many adoptees, and none were interested in meeting their birth parents. But Richard suffered from depression and anxiety, so this might have triggered a need to find. I also think that scientific advances have made it easier to find people in the case of closed adoptions.
I probably would have tried to find a birthparent for medical issues, but I understand it sometimes can be a difficult situation for either or both. So I just don’t know. It’s difficult to put myself in those shoes.

I'm not surprised at all. Based on his reaction I think he needed this contact to understand why he was given up and to fill a void.

I guess I wasn't surprised. One of the things that prompted him was wanting to know his family's health history, and I think if I were in his shoes I'd want to reach out for the same reason.

It's interesting Richard committed suicide. Given Laura's mother's symptoms, I do wonder if the mental health issues may have been genetically linked.

Could part of Richard’s depression be centered around the fact he was adopted? I would be curious as to why I had been given up for adoption.

As I recall, Richard only reached out to find his birth mother at his wife's urging because she felt it was important to know about any relevant genetic health issues. Considering what wonderful adoptive parents he had and with his seemingly wonderful family, I don't think being adopted contributed his depression. On the other hand, there could have been a genetic mental health condition connected to his natural grandmother.

I was not surprised. Now it is a lot easier to find birth parents with all of the 23 & me information pools.If I were adopted, I think I would be curious about my birth parents. I would probably want to meet them and find out their story.

I was not surprised. If I were in this situation, I would want to know my birth parents. Yet, I have a half bother who never wanted to find out about his real father. My mother told him the situation and that was enough for him. However, many decades later, his second wife pounded our mother seeking more information. She was relentless and this led to her poor relationship with family members.

No, I wasn't surprised. I think I would want to know.

I am not surprised that Richard connected with his birth mother. Even if he only reached out to gather health information, I think he gained a family and maybe he needed that. We adopted my son at birth via a closed adoption (he's 10 now) and he has spoken about his desire to meet his birth mother someday.